i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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