Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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