weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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