brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize