How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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