I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
