I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
