It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i now understand why vodka
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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