Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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