so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize