we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
