our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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