I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
