well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
