...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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