She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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