If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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