Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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