Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
