Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
