I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
