mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize