I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
