I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
