you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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