You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize