I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
