my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
