What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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