Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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