I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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