so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
