Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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