Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
