We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
