i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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