I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
