Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize