he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
