Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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