super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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