He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize