I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
