If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
