We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
