do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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