is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
