girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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