woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize