I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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