people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
