Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
