sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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