Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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