that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
