after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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